I can't win.

You can never win an argument with someone who always thinks they are right.
So, stay tuned, for the next episode.

This love dare I accepted to make me a better person through Christ, for me, and for, and with My Bride.
I am so confused now, that I get an ultimatum to give up a hobby that I have loved doing for 35 years.
Playing Music.

I don't do ultimatums, so you have to do what you think you need to do.
The Choices are simple.
1 - Accept me for who I am, and have been all my life. You are not going to change me now.
2 - Pack your things and leave.

I feel like by her doing that she has driven a wedge between us. I feel so distant.
I do love her. I won't live with a dark cloud over my head. If thats how she feels about my only hobby that I have, loved, and done as long as I have, I don't know what to do. I am not giving it up. I am numb about it. In shock, wanting to not be around her. I am sad, angry, and hurt that she would drive that wedge between us.
Now for her to say she'll stay home, and hook up with another guy on the internet while I am out playing is even more hurtful to me. Why does she have to be that way? Makes that wedge even larger.

The Jack Daniels has been a problem for sometime. If another drop hits her mouth, its over.
Thats the way I feel, she can't control it. I don't want any part of it.

3./25/2011
You can always tell when we have a fight and depending on what happened, how I reacted reflects deeply on my mood, and this blog. Its my vent but I don't publish it for people to see.
I cannot forget her calling another mans name in a passionate moment. This makes me feel like I am second choice. She knows she is free to pursue him if she wants to. |I have invited her to do so if she loves him.
I am still deeply hurt by this. She was too drunk to remember and doubts it.
I wouldn't lie about it. Its a decision she have to make, and convince me its was a subconscious drunken error. They say the truth come out when you are drunk. Thats why it hurts, because I think she was telling her true feelings, and not just running off at the top of her head because she was drunk.
I should have blown up then. But I didn't, it had been a decent night except she had too much to drink.
I will get over all this, and forget about it. It hurt me when she said that, I am praying that to God that he helps me let this issue go.