Love dare day 13

Day 13
Talk with your spouse about healthy rules of engagement.
If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to "FIGHT" by.
Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.

If your spouse participated with you, what was their response? What rules did you write for yourself?


Most of the time when we fight its at the worse time. 2 am and very intoxicated. I am , but she much more than I. Her sense of reasoning is gone, and she probably angry because she didn't get her way.
Or whatever reason, she is always right in her mind. 
I hate this scenario more than any setting. Pushing her buttons isn't what was intended.
If I want to go home and go to bed, its the sensible thing to do, because its late, I'm tired and its time to.
The verbal and sometimes physical fight happens when she will not stop.
When its gets to a head, I am sick of it and I want her to stop, she won't, then I want to leave.
When I get to the point when I am fuming, I see red, and its best that I leave, or go in another room UNharassed.
If I choose to go to bed, the fight should NOT follow, because I am choosing to not engage, at that time the bell should sound, and the round is over for the night. You can be mad, just leave me alone.
(When its doesn't stop, after begging, this is usually when I lose my cool, and want to distant myself.)
The next day the issue should be discussed, and buried.



My healthy rules for us both would be
1) never fight when ____________. There should be a timeout issued at whatever time the other deems so.
At that time the other should concede, and agree that there is a better time, and or place.
2) at night when its time for bed.
3) speak your mind, don't be repetitive.
4) no verbal abuse.
5) no physical contact.
6) calmly discuss your case...inside voice.
7) think before you speak. those hateful words damage forever.